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Birth Stories

Jane’s Story

This is our second daughter Connie’s birth story but the choices we made were influenced by the birth of our older daughter Thea three years ago. Thea was born in hospital after a long labour; she was in a back to back position and ten days past due date. I had gas and air, pethidine, an epidural, an episiotomy and an eventual ventouse delivery having been prepped, ‘just in case’, for a c-section. Although I was grateful to have a healthy daughter it was not the birth I had hoped for and left me quite upset for a long time.

When I found that I was pregnant for the second time we decided to book with an independent midwife, Diane Ménage, as I wanted more continuity of care than I had experienced with my first pregnancy and birth. I saw ten different midwives with Thea, seven of them while I was in labour, and I felt that this had not helped the experience. With this pregnancy I wanted a midwife who would be focused on me alone while I was in labour and who would know me and my husband Ben and know what we wanted. I saw Diane for all my antenatal appointments and initially wanted a hospital birth at Warwick with her there to support us. However we did a hypnobirthing course with Marie Ashford when I was about 24 weeks pregnant and this clarified for me that I really wanted a home birth as I was not comfortable with the thought of going to hospital again, even a different one. Happily Ben agreed to this as I would not have been able to contemplate it without his support. It also made a huge difference that I had a lot of confidence in Diane.

I had an uneventful pregnancy and saw Diane at 1.30 in the afternoon of 18th October at 38 wks +6 for a routine check; all was well but there no sign of anything happening, the baby was 4/5 so still very high. We talked about what I could do if I went overdue - that was a worry to me as I was so overdue with Thea but did not want to be induced this time. Thea and I spent some time after Diane had gone putting the covers back on the Moses basket and I felt that that was the final thing that needed doing before the baby came (I had spent the earlier part of the week frantically cleaning…)

At about 4 pm I started to feel my bump getting and staying tight and also felt very restless; I couldn’t sit still so I put the television on for Thea (who couldn’t believe her luck) and paced up and down the room. I phoned Ben and asked him to come home from work as I felt ‘odd’ and phoned my Dad to come and get Thea. I also phoned Diane who said that it sounded as if I was ‘niggling’ and that she would phone back later but to ring her sooner if I felt I needed to. I wasn’t sure that I was in labour and felt a little foolish in case this all came to nothing but reasoned it was better to be prepared rather than be by myself.

Ben got home at 5.15 and the contractions really kicked in then, lasting for a minute with a minute in between. I went to the downstairs bathroom and shut the door, then my Dad came and took Thea on my shouted instructions and she went off amazingly happily with him (though minus coat and shoes). As things seemed to be moving Ben phoned Diane again to ask her to come at once. He also put my hypnobirthing CD on for me to listen to in the bathroom. The comedy moment was that the bin cleaning lady arrived to collect her money just before 6pm; when she brightly said ‘Bin money’ and Ben started to look for it I yelled from the bathroom that she should go away. Ben pointed out that I was in labour and she disappeared very quickly… Diane arrived at 6pm and was very respectful of my wishes; minimum examination and intermittent foetal monitoring only, she didn’t do an internal at all exactly as we had discussed at antenatal visits. The contractions continued in an intense way which I found quite hard as that was how my labour with Thea had been, but with little progress to show for it. I spent the time leaning against Ben, who was wedged into the corner of our very small bathroom. It was suggested that we move into the living room but I refused to go anywhere. I managed to breathe through some contractions and shouted through others. Ben was a great help following our hypnobirthing plan and encouraging me but also being quiet when I told him to. At about 7.30 I went into transition and got quite emotional (which I didn’t register as transition at all, I just thought I couldn’t cope with it). I now think that part of the emotion I felt was remembering Thea’s birth. After that Diane felt that I was starting to push with each contraction and did a quick internal. I was amazed when she said I was fully dilated as I was expecting a much longer labour. I didn’t feel that I knew what to do as I had not felt the pushing stage with Thea and when I said this Diane very calmly said that she would help me and tell me what to do. I moved to my hands and knees as this felt like the right thing to do as I was now uncomfortable leaning back. The pushing stage felt more controlled, (though feeling the baby move appear to move back up at first between contractions was discouraging), and was quite quick as at just before 8pm our new daughter was born. I hadn’t actually had any pain relief at all, I had so much support from Ben and Diane that I didn’t think to ask for any, I just breathed and shouted my way through the contractions. There was no need for stitches either, despite the fact that Connie was born with her hand up by her ear. I had my hoped for skin to skin contact at once as I picked Connie up from the towel on the floor where Diane had laid her. I then had syntometrin for the third stage, once the cord had stopped pulsing, as I didn’t want to wait and have the additional effort of delivering the placenta. After that we went upstairs to cuddle and feed Connie in comfort and to dress and weigh her. I phoned my Mum who was amazed to hear that the baby had arrived already and at home (I hadn’t told her that that was what was planned as I knew that it would worry her). By 9pm I was in bed eating a bacon sandwich and having a cup of tea – it tasted fabulous! Diane left us at about 11pm, I hardly slept all night as I was on such a high and just wanted to look at my daughter.

My parents brought Thea home the next morning to meet her baby sister and were amazed to find me up and about as normal. I feel that ‘normal’ is the word that sums this experience up, it was all as it should be for us. I realise that a home birth is not for everybody and that I was very lucky in the care and support that I had. However I would also say that a home birth is not only for people who have had an intervention-free first birth, as my contrasting experiences with Thea and Connie show.

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